You’d be hard-pressed to find a human who wouldn’t tell you that being a parent is unbelievably stressful. However, research by TODAY has revealed that women themselves think that their partners cause them even more anxiety than their kids do! More than 7,000 women were polled, and the average mother rated their level stress at 8.5 out of 10. More specifically, it was found that 75% of women were responsible for both the bulk of the parenting and the upkeep in their households—so it’s easy to see why more of the blame might fall to a fellow adult “partner” as opposed to a child.
When one person is forced to do the work of two, it leads to the constant feeling or fear of not having enough time each day to do everything that needs to be done. Women who worked outside the home in addition to handling more of the parenting and upkeep felt even more overwhelmed and stressed. It’s interesting to note that many of the reasons women gave for feeling anxiety related to the way their partners more closely resembled children than adults in many regards. In the case where women worked outside the house, did the bulk of the parenting, handled most of the upkeep, and did things on a regular basis to help their partners out, there was even more blame and resentment (and rightfully so).
Its also been demonstrated that this is not a two-way street; most men do not feel as though their partner causes them more anxiety than their kids do. As per the University of Padova in Italy, men who lose their wives experience a rapid decline in health. Yet, women who lose their husbands experience improvements in health. Regardless, the most important thing to keep in mind is that action should be taken to make sure these unjust truths don’t persist; it may be funny at first blush, but it is frankly quite reprehensible that a grown adult would cause their partner more anxiety than a growing and learning child would.
The first step to take is to vanquish the element from the room by articulating just how much stress a partner is causing you. If one partner genuinely loves the other partner, then they will have no desire to cause the other partner sadness or pain—certainly not more grief than kids tend to invoke. The next step is to listen to the guilty partner, and then to make firm plans to take rapid action in order to divide family duties up more fairly, or to divide family anxiety up more evenly. However, some wives have been known to do a lot around the house because they don’t trust their partners to be able to it right, or to do it at all. These urges must be resisted, because they make it impossible for duties or anxiety to be evenly split.
*This content was inspired by an amazing article that can be found here.